Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML
Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML
Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
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Top comments
beccaishereyay 11
Doesn't matter, had sex
mama2b3 20
Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!
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Comments (141)
vbmg152 19
Bears! The best free birth control in the world!
karishmo 2
If it was pedobear, then you didn't have to worry.....
alycion 39
No that's the problem with today's world. Too many young ones thinking sex is the most important thing in life.
TannerMinnich 0
That's what you get for living in Kentucky
tweetyjiggles 0
TALK ABOUT RANDOM ASS MOMENT LOL
Inediblepeaches 15
15- Your profile picture fits this perfectly! :D
Cablo_Gubla 2
Awesome voyeuristic ventures sometimes have risks, but I'll be damned if they're not worth it most of the time. Unrelated, but I gave my lady some lovin' on the hood of my car on the side of the road, didn't pay much attention to the faces of the passers-by.
someone3225 2
What? the bear just wanted in
Sabrewulf 8
Totally, I mean hibernating all winter probably gave the bear some serious morning wood and/or blue balls from the sexy dreams it may have had.
ailsa_evans 0
that just adds to the excitement ;)
ankoku 2
That's what you get for leaving a lit Cig on the ground in the woods!