Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
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Top comments
BoratSagdiyev 2
Be proud. Own that shit.
TheDrifter 24
The pressure has to go somewhere. Just be glad out came out dry.
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Comments (112)
killaKT 2
Mild case of the flu? I think you are over exaggerating a cold..
itsme1321 3
Gee, how wonderfully considerate of you to infect your bf's entire household with the flu...
pink_raindrops 26
Farting instantly makes you disgusting? It's a natural bodily function that you really have no control over, and clearly everyone does it. By your logic everyone is disgusting. Besides the OP would have farted even if they did sneeze, it's not like holding in a sneeze actually causes you to fart.
MidnightKnight 6
Heaven forbid that someone farts. It's not like it's a natural body function just like sneezing.
UncleMuscles 5
At least it wasn't a solid, right?
rooney0710 5
That's my picture.... Bastard
ICastillo 25
Oh shit you guys are going to have to fight winner takes all.....ready Go!!
UncleMuscles 5
Mine doesn't have the web address at the bottom so ha.
rooney0710 5
Mine shows my loyalty to nine gag. Give credit where it's deserved.
UncleMuscles 5
I concede.
rooney0710 5
We can both agree it's an amazing photo ;)
AsianAdvent 2
YDI OP, the flu is contagious, like what if you got everyone sick there? You should thin twice before going out sick, especially if you have the flue, if even the most minor of cases.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Please tell me it wasn't liquid...
jazzyjazz23 9
Why did you try to hold in the sneeze in the first place?
Schizomaniac 24
I'll never understand some of the people mentioned in these stories. Not this one in particular, but most of the time it seems that people blow shit out of proportion (no pun intended). Like in the previous FML, the dude walked away with a "horrified look" after the chick accidentally blew a snot bubble. I wouldn't be surprised if this one ended in "and then they exiled me from their home and cursed my bloodline." Things happen, people. Get the **** over it.
WizardOfOzLA 2
cf #96
Calingaladha 21
At least you didn't have diarrhea. A sneeze fart is nothing compared to a sneeze shit.