Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
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Top comments
BoratSagdiyev 2
Be proud. Own that shit.
TheDrifter 24
The pressure has to go somewhere. Just be glad out came out dry.
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Comments (112)
skulltorn 8
They probably respect you for having a tight enough butthole to make a fart so loud :)
san251 10
That's awesome!
jack_ripper604 0
At least you didn't shit yourself
ratorr2 23
It could have been worse. At least you didn't do this at the theater around hundreds of people.
darawbs 0
YDI for going out while you have the flu. Snot all bad though, I bet they thought it was a gas. ;D
ScaughtieHolden 11
"Help me dice Mr. Whiskers for dinner."
Snoopy0718 14
Maybe she went out because her bf mom knew she was sick and decided to make her soup.
CharresBarkrey 16
Personally I'd rather someone with the flu fart around me than sneeze around me. Very contagious.
duhbaby 10
I would die. Sorry OP.
KiddNYC1O 22
Why would you ever? When I sneeze I make sure I do it loud and proud. You could rupture a blood vessel, I think...