Today, I stuck my house key up my nose by accident. Why? I was taking them out to unlock the door and needed to straighten my glasses. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
OP, unless you injured yourself or someone saw the event, it’s not a big deal. We all have our share of accidents and brain farts that we have to get over.
Wadlaen 24
It seems like multitasking might not be for you...
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Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
OP, unless you injured yourself or someone saw the event, it’s not a big deal. We all have our share of accidents and brain farts that we have to get over.
Wadlaen 24
It seems like multitasking might not be for you...