Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and iPod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
ezequalsmc 5
Your roommate didn't lock you out, she locked the door when no one was home. I would yell at your dumb ass too, if you called me out of work for some monkey shit like that.
Feklfekl2222 32
Ladies and gentlemen,l think we have a genius here.
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Comments (59)
Jimboom 12
You Madam do not deserve a room over your head. Please go give all your money and your flat to someone who deserves it!
Chad_the_Brony 0
Why would she live under a room? Is that a big thing where you live? Normal people live IN a room under a ROOF.
iliketurdles 7
Why couldn't you go to her to pick the keys up? Also, buy a bowl and put it near the door, put keys in said bowl. Its a lot easier to spot. Merry christmas, asshole.
hateevryone 15
hahahahahahahh fail
Benelli_SkM 0
You are pretty damn smart.
RedPillSucks 33
It's always in the last place you look. Next time, look there first.
StopDropNRoll 11
But then it wouldn't be last. I'm confused.
stephanieeDawnx 0
Well.. Of course it's in the last place you look... If you found them, why would you keep looking..?
IllogicalGenius 0
Paradox!
mattorama 15
Roommate yelled at you because this is obviously not the first time your absent mindedness has been an annoyance.
ty1992_farmlife 12
Maybe you should start leaving notes for yourself, unless you'll forget those's
bertegg 6
Dumbass
shadystyle 6
buddy, you're an idiot. that is all
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wait, if you left to go check the locker room, how did you get back in a second time? Didn't lock the door behind you? Ooo, it would be icing on the cake if you got robbed. :D Still, YDI for not checking the hook you got for this purpose.