Today, my daughter flew completely off the handle when she found out I have a girlfriend, and called me an unfaithful sinning bastard, who’s going to hell for cheating on her mother. Her mother's been dead for 20 years and this is the first time I’ve met a woman since then. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to contact my daughter, who cut ties with me four years ago when I outed her girlfriend by accident, to see if she's still mad at me and if we could reconnect. She informed me that once I die, she plans to cremate me and flush my ashes down a McDonald's toilet. So… still mad, then. FML
Today, my 21 year-old daughter sent me the longest, violent, most hateful text I've ever seen in my life. Apparently she opposes me marrying her best friend of 12 years. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
Does this brat not understand the "til death do us part" part of this? She needs a harsh reality check
RichardPencil 32
I'm no theologian, but I think you're OK in virtually every afterlife scenario. Only if you didn't murder your wife. You didn't do that, did you?
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
I'm no theologian, but I think you're OK in virtually every afterlife scenario. Only if you didn't murder your wife. You didn't do that, did you?
Crowned Sataness 12
Does this brat not understand the "til death do us part" part of this? She needs a harsh reality check
RichardPencil 32
She probably interprets it as both people being dead for that to count.
JasonThorn 23
It sounds like she is not too old for a little corporal punishment, if she is going to act like a child.
SirEnigM0nk 22
That may or may not work. Dad could try it, but the outcome may not be what you expect.
Hangryko 32
She doesn't like it, she can leave and go live with a relative. At least you can see your girlfriend in (more) peace.
poopface82 25
I have to wonder if there’s a hint of unspoken anger that her potential inheritance will be chipped away at because of a new woman in her father’s life. It’s still bratty as hell, but it may help to understand where she’s coming from.
Anderling 33
I don’t think she actually believes any of that. It’s almost certainly just anger and anxiety and she latched onto the first excuse she could find to justify it. Sit her down when things are calm again and talk to her.
historygrad74 19
How old is this daughter, especially since it's been 20 years?
cpguru24 18
Sounds like an opportunity to have a good sit down with your daughter (I assume she is at least 20?) and help her through her emotions about your late wife. You deserve happiness. Help her through this. Good luck OP.