Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
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Top comments
ironichalibut 24
At least you're all alive though, although it sounds like most will wish they weren't in the morning
GemmaStyles 14
Hey on the bright side you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning
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Comments (47)
nishantvas 13
even if you were the DD, but seriously man ? did you think they'd remember how nice you were in the morning ?
avapaige1234 19
Let's just hope they remember your good deed in the morning.
Cazz91 21
Send your coworkers the cleaning bill for the backseat of your car. If they are decent coworkers they will pay for their stupidity regardless having a DD that offers their time, gas and vehicle for a safe ride home. It's the least they can do for damaging the backseats like that if there really was no other way to vomit some where else. If they don't do anything about it, never be their DD again.
TisAPenguin 16
This is why I don't allow drunk people in my car.
dancinggirl900 17
Make them pay for it, it is the least they can do.
Mrjoeua 1
OMG, I'm driving my colleges to the party tonight as well. I shouldn't have read that lol
spekledworf 18
Where I work, the new person is supposed to out-drink everyone else
graceinsheepwear 34
No good deed goes unpunished.
underthesea12 24
no good deed goes unpunished!
chuckcloninger 12
Well, I guess there's a first and last time for everything?