Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML
Today, I caught my sister taking money from my wallet. When I confronted her, she claimed that she was actually putting back money that she had stolen earlier. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
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Top comments
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Old people are so devious nowadays! Can't trust them! Did you say something about it to him or anyone else?
perdix 31
You should just be thankful that you didn't walk in on him masturbating. Your sister can always get more money, but you can never un-see the old fart beating it like it owed him money.
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Comments (62)
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Old people are so devious nowadays! Can't trust them! Did you say something about it to him or anyone else?
darwinism 30
OP should not mention anything. Old people have an amazing capability to turn things around. He would make it look like OP is the culprit and good old grandpa was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And they will believe him.
bobbington9298 10
Yeah I would be careful about telling someone if I was OP, because I feel like it would be pretty easy for his grandpa to turn the story back on OP to make him look bad. Especially since he already seems pretty devious. And to think, before FML I thought old people were sweet and harmless
thatkidhesh 11
what a horrible example to set for your grandkids. sorry you had to see that OP.
Damian95 16
You can't tell anyone about it, so Id steal his false teeth or crack his cane. In circumstances like these, its ok to be counter devious.
MDTeddy 13
My parents would want me to tell them if I seen that happen.
Tymaster5 22
Sorry to hear, tell your parents about it.
Pesticides 19
I have a feeling he would get blamed
saIty 17
You guys may have not been alone. I always believe that there could be a ghost furiously humping me and I would never know.
Ellae_fml 7
And what were you doing in your sisters bedroom?
buckeyed 20
Probably passing by
aardvarkish 17
OP is female, so borrowing clothes comes to mind.
perdix 31
You should just be thankful that you didn't walk in on him masturbating. Your sister can always get more money, but you can never un-see the old fart beating it like it owed him money.
buckeyed 20
And now you've put the image into all of our heads...as if we don't get enough from these FMLs, haha
perdix 31
#17, hey, I never said anything about walking in on him at the "moment of truth" only to see him shooting lumps of aged spooge all over your sister's room. That one is on you :)
fakedsincerity 32
Aaaaand that's enough Internet for today.
ILoveFlowers 15
#20 TMI that description was more than I wanted to envision.
Zimmington 21
when I first started reading this FML I thought that's where it was going. Like the one about the grandma.
buckstop1 37
17, check yourslef, you're obviously trying to be me. We can all see through your lies
Wizardo 34
Old people are plain evil, just confront him about it. This isn't the sort of example a senior citizen should be setting man.
UberNova 18
They are the same people as when they were youthful and troublesome, just older.
kerrwoof 13
Did he at least split the loot with you?
darwinism 30
He has just lost his marbles and needs money to buy some more. Think nothing of it and just move along now.
oj101 33
Is he Ronnie Biggs by any chance? Some people never change.