Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Check your old underpants for the momma spider
ICATiger 13
That's why you don't leave stuff outside.
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Comments (201)
wakadalhadaf 4
First one!!!!!!!!
cheesypies 6
I see you're in a sticky situation.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Looks like your shoes got jizzed by spiders.
ColdplaySucks 18
Were the spiders ok??
FirstTigerHobbes 13
This is why I don't wear shoes Or anything at all
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I didn't even read this FML. All I saw was baby spiders and I knew OP's life was ******. I don't even want to know what happened.
Pentium_4 27
i seriously see this comment in every FML lol
KiddNYC1O 22
Is pain sticky?
LLLP 0
Not really....
lindseykcool 6
Reading this FML made me kind of itchy. Spiders scare me more than anything on the planet.
PuppiesFTW 5
My brother found a bunch of mice poop in his shoe like a week ago, True Story.
ladyLALAA 29
Birds scare me more then spiders, eww
naughtia 14
Wouldn't you have crushed the spiders before they could inflict pain?
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
OhMyGod!:O I piss my pants!
lovertolover 4
That is like one of my biggest fears.
lolyeahthatsme 11
probably because they were biting op
TexasBitch 13
That's what I was thinking! They would all be dead...
MikeDa1Da 14
Check your old underpants for the momma spider
Cryptic_Equinox 0
And THATS when i light my clothes on fire and move out. ...those little bastards have waay too many legs.
Chad_the_Brony 0
We're going in with first wave! Means more bugs for us to kill. When we drop, you kill anything with more than two legs. Do you get me?
Sinforme17 0
Goddamn bugs whacked us Johnny!
2oc 5
85- starship troopers? When i went camping a few years ago i found a gang of earwigs living in my swimshorts. I didn't find out until i put them on either OP, eugh. Those pincers...
Meowingtons500 18
Your feets attract spiders:)
ICATiger 13
No she's spiderwoman.
Mama_Umbridge 8
No her feet are feet
2ndSucks 15
Did you really add an s to feet to make it plural?
Torva_fml 16
Why yes, I did. Do you have a problem with my feets? Oh my, my feets are sore. My feets are so dry today. My feets are so sensitive after all that running. Would you give me a feets massage? Oh baby, don't tickle my feets! Did I just anger you? Oh? I'm sorry. Actually no, I'm not.
xSonic 9
Poor spiders, imagine the suffering they were in :(
MizzErikaHart 8
Not as much as the monkey raping the frog (YouTube)
G0v3nat0r 7
I want to know how the spiders didn't get crushed.
salvorican 24
Those demons never die.... :[
Bski94 0
Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. Now I feel spiders crawling on me.
thatKidzmOm 10
Why did you wait "several minutes"? When I feel pain, I know I react immediately. On a side note, poor spiders. :)
flea_of_death 23
i must agree, why did you not check your foot when you first felt the pain? then again, this world lacks common sense...
zombicidal 11
he wanted to walk it off?
idiothater1 4
Being shit scared of spiders myself, I check the shoe before I put my foot in it...
You_Need_Soap 6
On a side-side note, **** the spiders! FYL indeed!
bulliedkid 6
Same!
ICATiger 13
That's why you don't leave stuff outside.
ClassyCommando 13
Damn, nature, you scary!
Torva_fml 16
Last time a spider crawled out of my shoe... I ran the **** inside, and grabbed spider killer. It's now my morning ritual to squish the **** out of my shoes by jumping on them just to make sure no live spiders are in them.
silver848 6
If that happened to me (I'm extremely aracnophobic aka the fear of spiders) I would have scream so friggin loud and throw my shoe as far away as I could possibly throw. Gross. Fyl majorly!
Blooblibloo 4
Same for me, then I would probably have sat on the groung and cried. I have chicken goose just by reading it.
cutenessizme 4
Chicken goose?
silver848 6
I think he means chicken skin/ goose bumps. Lolz
Blooblibloo 4
Yah, sorry English is not my first language and chicken goose sounded right :))
HaleyCross 0
That was cute retropiaf
sergina101 0
There would be scarring involved. Spiders are just disgusting. Fyl op next time check before putting anything that's been outside on.
chili10 18
I know I'm going to get thumbed down just like 114, but I agree. Chicken goose put a smile on my face. :)
indistructo 3
thy explains the pain! :D
chelseaaababyyy 17
you think so ?
zombicidal 11
its like turducken but with goose
klorehore 24
Imagine they were quite squishy, and probably would lead to some discomfort if they took a lot of room in there, but where does the pain come in? Or are you that sympathetic, cause I reckon they didn't enjoy it that much
alliewillie 22
I assumed the pain came from them biting him. FYL indeed!!!