Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and, instead of talking to him, I burped, and he just walked away. FML
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
Today, I waved at my crush, but he waved at someone behind me. FML
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML
Today, I watched my high school crush pull into the parking spot next to me, and then almost immediately he started backing out once he saw me parked next to him. FML
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
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Top comments
Ambrily 27
I'm sorry but I don't get this. Did you measure your crush's head? How do you know the dent was the exact same size of their head? And would that mean that your crush rammed into you car head first? Why?
Inkoseh 33
Hint: If you know the exact size of your crush's head, you're probably a stalker!
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Comments (9)
Ambrily 27
I'm sorry but I don't get this. Did you measure your crush's head? How do you know the dent was the exact same size of their head? And would that mean that your crush rammed into you car head first? Why?
RichardPencil 32
So, your crush is crushing on your car, literally?
Inkoseh 33
Hint: If you know the exact size of your crush's head, you're probably a stalker!
sarahcroy20 12
What????
Chazzster 32
OP, most adult humans have fairly similar sized heads - There is no way you could identify who’s head (if it was someone’s head) hit your car just from the dent size. You have an active imagination but not a particularly accurate one.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I'm going to take a guess that the OP isn't randomly accusing their crush of head ramming their car and will take the title into account and assume the FML is that the OP is so enamored of their crush that rather than get upset about the dent or go about trying to figure out what happened, the first thing their brain did was look at a dent and go "Oh it reminds me of my crush". I'm going to look at it that way because I can see that is an unhealthy level of focus on any one individual and the sudden realization that you are clearly coming unhinged mentally would be worthy of saying F My life.
RichardPencil 32
Do you have a crush on The Elephant Man?
tounces7 28
It's a dent. What did he do, face-plant into your car so extremely fast as to leave an easily recognizable face mark of himself?
wrenavery90 12
What are you even talking about? And how could you possibly know the dent is the same size as his head? I'm just not understanding this.