Today, I finally got my boyfriend to go get his lockdown beard trimmed. He came back with the kind of pointy monstrosity you see on people like Keemstar. I'm tempted to prune it in his sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
Today, my partner got a lockdown haircut. He now has a mullet. FML
Today, after we went and spent $30 to get our two youngest boys hair cut last weekend, they snuck my beard trimmer and had a go at doing it themselves. Guess whose heads are buzzed now. FML
Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML
Today, I tried to trim my beard before a date. I watched a YouTube tutorial and thought, "How hard could it be?" Turns out, very hard. I ended up with one side of my beard looking fabulous and the other side looking like a patch of dried grass. I had to cancel the date and spent the evening watching Netflix with my cats. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML
Today, after I spent 3 months growing my beard and hair so I could go for the Viking look, my mom told me I look almost eerily identical to the registered sex offender who lives 2 streets away. Out come the clippers, I’m going full bald. Three months wasted FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
What the **** is a Keemstar?
RichardPencil 32
That sounds safe. What if he wakes up suddenly with a sharp object scraping his flesh?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
That sounds safe. What if he wakes up suddenly with a sharp object scraping his flesh?
brenniman 10
Perhaps you should refuse to shave your pubic hair till he shaves his beard.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Some of us prefer bush. Not the beer. Or the Presidents. I feel I've said this before...
BurnInDemonFire 39
What the **** is a Keemstar?
BMXDude22 12
He's a popular YouTuber… and a massive dong. Don't get the appeal, personally.