Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy said "Mommy" and the mom looked down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walked out. The boy had pissed on the floor. FML
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
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Top comments
XRiseToFallAgain 0
Why do FML's like these always involve kid's dumb word being more trusted than the actual explanation from the adult?
null_fml 11
Well, she's right... you can't.
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Comments (90)
DrunkenValor 0
Tell your kid everytime she opens her mouth a fairy gets stamped on by a cynical fat man.
Hisbabyforever 0
hahahahaha thats funny! I do believe in fairies, I do! I do! lol jk XD
whaddup 0
YDI for saying "I no longer welcome." ******* idiot.
random_616 0
you've never typed anything wrong b4? dont be an a-hole
omnivector 0
hahaha, so cute though
Ray_of_midnight 23
Any store that would drop the banhammer on you because of some cute-but-embarrassing thing your little kid said doesn't deserve your business anyway.
cheerloveyou 0
truue.
crpleprone91 0
wow...has anybody thought that perhaps the mother wasn't wearing underwear?
brunettebabex3 0
She meant "I'm" not "I" then the FML makes more sense.
TheLetterZero 7
Spoilsport.
JRSpaniel 0
Damn... that's horrible. FYL for sure.
containsnosoy 0
I honestly doubt you'd be kicked out of a store for that. No one wants to lose money, and obviously if you didn't pee, everyone knows children say the silliest things. Besides, most people I've met in retail are completely non-confrontational AND if they were working the fitting room, they wouldn't give a damn. Most have the "it's not my problem" syndrome.
f_me247 0
i would slap that ****** bitch and abandon that *****.
czechmate 0
BULL SHIT. I'm sure that you wouldn't get kicked out over something that your three year old said. Especially if you could prove that you actually didn't pee. OP- get a life you fag, stop making up stories on FML to make yourself seem interesting.
kukopia 0
+ + + The FML doesn't merit a vote. It shouldn't have been approved by the mods (the wankers).