Not now

I have to say, based on my 5 year old cousin at my grandmother's funeral, that five year olds don't understand death. Her mum told her that her grandmother was dead and tried to explain it, but she still said things like, "Nana's fine, she's just dead." and (at the funeral) "Ssh, we have to be quiet or Nana will hear us!". She also called the funeral a party.

To say 5 years old dont understand death is too general of a comment. Every 5 year old is different. And with different children comes different parents. I would take my 5 year old to a funeral. Younger then 5? It would depend on who it was for. There are just some things kids should know about but not see. Death is one of them.

I laughed too.

Some five year olds are. Some aren't. It depends on the child. And sometimes you just don't know if they get it until something like op's situation happens. My family was always pretty open about death as it is one of those things that you have to learn to deal with. Bit I doubt every child in the family really got what it meant at the same time in their lives.

Um I think that it's the parents own person lap decision. I went to my dads funeral when I was five and I didn't have anything explained to me. I don't know if you've ever been through something like this, but there's not many good ways to explain it. You just begin to understand when you're older. I think it's a good thing because the kid got closure and will understand what it means someday. But he needs to figure out for himself.

@#95 I don't agree, there are plenty sensitive ways to explain death and funerals to children, it should never be something they have to go through on their own to 'figure out'. However, I do agree with the fact that some kids do understand better than others, and that not every five year old will understand the concept of 'Grandma's not coming back' no matter how you explain it - however I agree with a poster above that perhaps a viewing of Bambi or Lion King along with a 'talk' about death might be a good way to go about it if there's a death in the family and it needs to be explained to a young child.

Hmm .. Good point , although I never really thought as Bambi or lion king as a way to explain death. I feel like it feels different in real life. Actually, now that you mention it, my therapist told me a story about how this waterbug turned into a dragonfly so he couldn't go back in the water again and his friends didn't know what happened to him, but once they got out of the water and turned into dragonflies too, they understood. I don't think I really understood the concept of it though until I got older and thought it out for myself. Everyone's different though.

To be honest, explaining death to children is a lot easier with specific examples. When my brother and I were little, we had pets. We had a cat that ran into the street and was killed. We had a hamster that died. Our parents weren't cruel, but neither did they sugarcoat what happened to either of them. This meant that at seven when my grandfather died, I understood what death was, and that he wasn't coming back. It also meant I bawled through the entire stone setting because we had been really close.

Yeah I actually never talked about it much when it happened. When people asked if I wanted to talk or cry to them , I always said no. I just sat there quietly and thought, trying to make sense of it all.