Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
I'm sure plenty of jerks will blame it on the fact that you eat at McDonalds and assume you're fat or lazy, but no matter how fit you are, someone will always be fitter. I'm sorry OP; that truly sucks. I have a cross-shoulder purse because it makes it so much harder for run-by muggers.
Dracoboxer357 36
Regardless of your age or fitness level, being robbed always sucks. Sorry it happened to you, Op. :p
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Comments (125)
sheethapins 13
Rule #1 : Cardio.
etchsanity1 11
You win
caro1ina48 13
Substitute the gym for McDonalds and you'll be fine
cb1002630 11
The scene of the crime is probably the same reason you can't run 200 yards.
subtulescence_fml 4
"Today, I was too broke to buy something to eat, so I had to stole the lunch of somenone leaving McDonald's. FML
perdix 31
Your lack of fitness is a blessing in disguise. What the **** were you going to do to the guy if you caught him? He'd have probably killed you or at least beaten the shit out of you. Leave crime-fighting to the cops and comic-book superheroes.
skyeyez9 25
The thief's cardio endurance is crucial to his trade as a conniving piece of shit thief. He needs to be able to outrun anybody he steals from.
sammyjanette 17
These comments and the fact that there are so many YDIs is ridiculous. It doesn't matter if the OP is fat and lazy or if she is fit and trim. She doesn't deserve to get her purse stolen for any reason.
evilplatypus 39
I award you all the thumbs up I got for my own comment.
Elle_ShellBelle 15
It really sucks someone robbed you as i have been robbed before and it's not a pleasant experience. That said the long side of a block is about 600 ft, I could imagine it being hard to chase someone after eating versus someone snatching and running
xTrepidation 14
Hey, have to give you credit for at least trying! Seeing as McDonald's is always busy you think someone else would've noticed.
pinkpanther61789 15
How on earth does a woman "deserve" having g her purse stolen?