Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
evilplatypus 39
I'm sure plenty of jerks will blame it on the fact that you eat at McDonalds and assume you're fat or lazy, but no matter how fit you are, someone will always be fitter. I'm sorry OP; that truly sucks. I have a cross-shoulder purse because it makes it so much harder for run-by muggers.
Dracoboxer357 36
Regardless of your age or fitness level, being robbed always sucks. Sorry it happened to you, Op. :p
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
Ayanpatel95 7
I think u leaving from macdonalds says it all
DDCA 24
In your defense, I'm going to assume you were either drunk or high for eating at McDonalds. **** your life!
WelcomeToAndale 13
Somehow I think this has to with 'exiting McDonald's'...
chillypalmer 7
That is hilarious !!! And so true!!! Fatty!! Not funny you getting robbed!
Inked0803 12
Lay off the McDonalds and you won't have that issue.
p_q_fml 2
Yea, because op chose to have lunch at McDonald's, she deserved to get robbed on the way out? You're all stupid
Zaparoach 3
I know McDonald's doesn't make you fat if you eat some once in a while, in fact I do that myself BUT getting exhausted after a SINGLE block? YDI, go do some excersise you chuby.
nightrose0087 10
Eating fast food doesn't make you fast.
ibrokethehubble 5
To everyone blasting OP, saying she's fat or out of shape: did you ever think that maybe there's a different reason she can't run? I work out regularly, but I have asthma and patellar tracking disorder in both knees. I can't run for more than a few seconds at time either. If I run, my lungs feel like they will explode and my knees ache. I'm not fat by anyone's standards. Maybe people should think for a minute before automatically hitting the YDI button.
alizzette_nabash 6
You can be skinny and still not have good fitness and stop eating at mc Donald's. That will kill you no matter if you're fat or not.