Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
I'm sure plenty of jerks will blame it on the fact that you eat at McDonalds and assume you're fat or lazy, but no matter how fit you are, someone will always be fitter. I'm sorry OP; that truly sucks. I have a cross-shoulder purse because it makes it so much harder for run-by muggers.
Dracoboxer357 36
Regardless of your age or fitness level, being robbed always sucks. Sorry it happened to you, Op. :p
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Comments (125)
97buble 1
When that happen, you don't deserve Mc'Donalds
collegedream121 8
Hint the word McDonald's
Synapsky 10
Fast food. It does not make you fast.
bryan788 29
yeah eat it every day see how skinny and unhealthy you are
gmac93 2
I'm so sorry this happened to you and in no way do I commend stealing, but WOW what an ingenious plan!!
Lvl_8 7
-7 Stamina
TechFire 25
I know how much you all feel that fat people are the scum of the earth, but saying that she deserved to get robbed? Really? You people are sick.
TechFire 25
Well, the people in these comments seem to be sympathizing with the criminal
Panda_Bear18 13
That sucks OP. Maybe you should cut back on fast food..
onorexveritas 24
he planned it *slow claps*
RtardSupport 2
Oh the irony... those darn cowards stealing from the speed challenged customers of McDonald's. Bet you wouldn't catch him outside of a gym pulling that crap!
azureblade 4
Next time chuck your shoe and call to someone further away to clothesline his ass.