Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
I'm sure plenty of jerks will blame it on the fact that you eat at McDonalds and assume you're fat or lazy, but no matter how fit you are, someone will always be fitter. I'm sorry OP; that truly sucks. I have a cross-shoulder purse because it makes it so much harder for run-by muggers.
Dracoboxer357 36
Regardless of your age or fitness level, being robbed always sucks. Sorry it happened to you, Op. :p
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Comments (125)
doLLe 21
Figures that you are from the US, MC Donald's isn't real food, so don't eat it!!! YDI
Evgeny2222 11
Really? Is it fictional food then?
houTeacher 2
Wow, some of you need to get over yourselves. So this many are claiming to NEVER eat at McDonalds and can run down muggers at will? Statistically speaking, that's just not true. Eat and do what you want, workout as much or as little as you'd like. It's the mugger that sucks here, not the OP.
nix1993 41
Whether she's fit or unfit is COMPLETELY irrelevant... I'm not fat, but I am ridiculously unfit, yet I still don't see how that suddenly means I deserve to have my purse snatched?!
CarouselHeart 11
Ugh, that's awful! I hope you managed to get it back somehow, OP.
alaskanrocker 2
Just because your young, doesn't exactly mean your fit. He has been ,by the sound of it, running as an exercise for a while. It's okay OP you will get over it, maybe after your next hamburger.......nom nom nom
ebrainer1 9
I gotta say, he knows the right place to hunt for ideal targets.
stormsfury2131 6
The fact that OP was mugged is the issue here, not fitness level. I don't care who OP is, how fit, age, none of that, what matters is that OP was the victim of a crime!
DWT 18
Which is why you need a concealed weapons permit. Pump that asshole full of lead.
elizacandle 29
that's what you get for having lunch at McDonald's and being excited about it.
CzarLaval 9
I never let people get close enough to touch me. Cant trust people anymore