Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry, it gets better." FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Frosc 0
a bit of a fail there, also your friend's an ass.
john443 5
I think your friend is the one who overdosed
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
HateyMcHater 4
**** 'em if they can't take a joke; DARE to be different!
LoveHyukkieee 0
You're weird , who laughs when they get beaten up?
froob 0
The giggle loop strikes again.
j_cat187 20
i lost a close friend candyfliping r.i.p. :(
ladylinda 0
NOT funny
Got_any_grapes1 4
I love u
HayItsJobin 0
agreed^
x3herox3 0
Some thing happened like dis today, but did scenario. Kso my friend stomped on a orange and the juice went everwhere. I went to get him paper, gave it to him, and as I gave it to him and that knowing him he would throw it back an book It, I ran. What he do? Lye the paper ontop of the orange an told a teacher that it was me, so now not only do teachers not believe me, but I has 2 weeks of detention for lying.
alissa_roar 6
I've been in the same situation, you don't have the opportunity to say anything back because they are ther ones with the microphone.. Sorry, dude.
nickdunbar 8
i would have ran out there