Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry, it gets better." FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Frosc 0
a bit of a fail there, also your friend's an ass.
john443 5
I think your friend is the one who overdosed
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
Frosc 0
a bit of a fail there, also your friend's an ass.
Jgotty007 0
agreed that honestly is not wat a friend should do.
testthecoal 5
Need a moment? Eat a twix!
GreatGeak 8
seems unlikely that the average person would assume a laugh would come about from a hit in the side.
MissBunny25 0
my friend does stuff like that to me all the time.. he knows how easily I laugh.. :/
HateyMcHater 4
Jgotty, if you line your body up directly behind the weapon, the shock of firing is absorbed better and you move less, improving your aim and maintaining your sight picture. Good comment, though.
elat4lolz 0
wait... what?
nikki9tails 3
1 agreed totally an ass and a bit of fail.
Prankster7o7 5
128 has got a point, you need better shooting posture.
fml_psl 0
hmm
fml_psl 0
right
fml_psl 0
podreuo hujrefi
C6Racer 0
If FML put a "Like" button for every comment, MissBunny would click every single one of em.
MissBunny25 0
161 *presses metaphorical like button* hell yes I would ! :D
C6Racer 0
I guessed you would reply in 30 minutes. I didn't think I would be that close haha.
BisFitty 7
#'s 128 and 154 bring up very valid points # 23, you need to correct this and post a new display pic ASAP showing your correction. Thanks! :-D
MissBunny25 0
165 haha yessss I amaze you, don't I?
thatcrazyredneck 0
drug overdoses r funny because its the drug users fault for being a dumass and using drugs
taleeeeeen 0
hahaha ikr
bunniex1 11
a lot of times it's a suicide attempt dum a$$
michelleJ11 25
196, it's not too funny for the families of the user that had to suffer through their drug use & deal with their death. Also, if the user had children, they probably wouldn't enjoy growing up around that; drugs and alcohol can permanently screw up a child. Did you ever think about the fact that the users parents could've been addicts? The user could've been traumatized from what he/she would've seen at home as a child and might've needed something to numb the pain. They weren't intending to be like their parents, but a majority of the time, it turns out that way.
MrRuffyboots 0
Sounds like someone wasn't sober at the time...
killdozer1 2
Drugs are bad, m'kay children.
supersaiyan7 0
as if you can't just tell the lady what actually happened?? you deserved it.
NightMarePuppy 0
exactly. OP shouldve cryed after the lady was done bitching and tell her that her friend hit her on the side and that the speaker has disgraced her dead friend. also ops friend is on crack
paleontologist 8
Who said it was a lady?
theybebitchin 4
but hes a guy :P
ericownz101 0
couldnt have been a lady.. unless she snuck out of the kitchen to give a speech
Adamantoise 0
97: Wow, I've never heard that one before!
Mellow_blu34u 0
wow way to be sexist
nutsackmuscle 0
97 hilarious.
Thabb 0
100, just ignore them.
supersaiyan7 0
well it's usually a woman who dose the bitchin! that's why theyre called bitches!
Civilianswilldie 0
DBZ is the best shit ever made
Kilroy15 0
97 you made me lol
Bano360 25
Bitchin' rhymes with kitchen.
Jizwold 0
sexism is good but the kitchen jokes are old get new material
zakkyzebra 11
old? Try classic.
Ronan_k 0
3 - IKR I hate when kids take shit from bitchy teachers.
FranBonomo 0
that's hilarious
john443 5
I think your friend is the one who overdosed
vickthedick 10
and died?
markusd 0
how would his friend be the one that overdosed and died and still be there to make him laugh
sooobe 3
failboat
nutsackmuscle 0
perhaps it's a weekend at bernies thing. he overdosed but they tied him to OP and another friend to keep up appearances.
i_like_girls 0
or, or, or, hes a ghost :)
1221jamw 11
Sounds like a job for supa crack. He deals with this stuff. Oh and your a dirty *****.
DocBastard 40
You, sir, are a disgrace to FML and, if I may be so bold, to all mankind. Please don't ever comment, or breathe, ever again.
gRAPE_SAUCE 0
psst! it's "you're" not "your" but 3rd grade English is a toughy isn't it?
Jizwold 0
doc ur daughter is getting fat I think
DocBastard 40
I know I'm feeding the troll here, but I just can't help myself. Jizwold, do you get off by insulting 4-year olds? Do you derive some kind of sick pleasure from insulting a little girl? Do you go to the playground and tell little kids that they're fat and ugly? Or do you just do it from the comfort of your little anonymous FML account because you feel you're can be a badass? If insulting a preschooler is what it takes to make you feel better about yourself, then you are truly a pathetic soul.
MariaxMayhem 0
What did he say? It didn't show up on my pc
Gondile 4
Are you talking shit to our greatest superhero yet?!
tulsafml 0
Oh! Gi Doc!
Woodsy007 0
you call yourself a man?!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well that sucks.):
baseballgirl25 6
you should punched your friend after you two sat down.
yougotapes 7
^agreed
you_failed 15
Awkwardness... >.>