Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry, it gets better." FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
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Top comments
Frosc 0
a bit of a fail there, also your friend's an ass.
john443 5
I think your friend is the one who overdosed
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Comments (215)
clashatdemonhead 3
for 176
denvan 0
Next time hav an air horn with you blare it at your friend.
Miss_Jazzalyn 4
That wasn't very nice of OP's friend to do that. There's nothing wrong with being stupid - which he/she may have been doing - but it wasn't the right time.
wolve86 0
because it's your name... every1"LOVES"boners.. how do you of all people miss that
LaUruguaya 11
am I the only one baffled by laughing after being hit in the side? how was a friend doing that funny at all?
uranidot 0
No, fuckass, you're not alone. You are in great (disgustingly non-empathetic) company. Asshole.
derpyderpton1408 0
Haha, retard, you just bitched out uranidot for not spelling idiot right, yet, you can't even spell "Breathe"! Not to mention uranidiot is already taken, ever try to stop and think before you go completely apeshit? Hahahaha, fail retard is fail.
uranidot 0
Why would someone ask a question that's been answered over and over and over and over again in the very comment thread that their asking it in, unless they are either A) a ******* moron, or B) a douchebag?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That's not true. It can just be something that happens automatically without any real thought to it. I tend to squeak quite loudly when I get jabbed/poked/hit in the side. It's not because it's something I want to do but because it just happens before I have a chance to stop myself. When the OP says they laughed, they could mean that it was more of a short "Ha ha" type response, which came out before they could stop themselves.
bakes22 0
lol lol lol
golfswimboy 0
sounds like someone needs less dooshy friends
MariaxMayhem 0
She is saying that she too loves boners...that's why I guess......... Hooray for boners!!!_
peke20 0
haha i know how you felt. i laugh really eassy too and it suks. you know why? because i was laughing at my aunts funeral. i didnt mean to laugh bt i get laughing attacks.