Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
I_Punch_Babies 7
if its on tv it must be true :-/
Meowingtons500 18
Oh boy, wait until she sees Maury.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (208)
millieee92 2
To the grammar nazi #118 criticising her, you incorrectly used the word "your" and "no" instead of not. Maybe you need to go to a grammar party...
dreamer9614 3
Dr. Phil is an idiot D-bag that needs to stop airing new shows. He also thinks that only soldiers get PTSD and that they're ticking time bomb killing machines once they have it. Among a lot of other VERY wrong 'facts' he preaches to those dumb enough to watch.
PinkyPie09 6
Ugh Doctor Phil. It's because of him that my mom and step-loser were convinced I was going out trying to get pregnant. They were already controlling before that, but things got way worse. All because of Doctor Phil.
97629762 3
Don't you mean my friends and I?
skulskinator 5
Tv never lies
ICastillo 25
So it's agreed my fellow FMLers Dr. Phil sucks donkey dong!!!
mollysticks 10
He's not even a real doctor.
Il_Maestro 6
I trust him. That mustache says he means business and demands respect. Why do we always listen to the men with mustaches? It hasn't really worked out...
noisebox 1
Dr. Phil is a bald headed retard, ( but who is laughing all the way to the bank). I heard has his team check out the guest to see if they are " good looking" enough to be on his show. He s a fat bastard who actually has a book about loosing weight with his fat butt on the cover....
heitwl 1
What is wrong with being bald?
FarscapeSDC 9
Why does anyone listen to Dr. Phil? He may be a PhD, meaning he is technically a doctor, but unlike psychiatrists who are actually medical doctors, a psychology degree doesn't mean you are qualified to offer advice. Plus, his PhD dissertation was on the most absurd subject, So I doubt the validity of his PhD (The dissertation was entitled "Rheumatoid arthritis: a psychological intervention." Really? who needs a psychological intervention for arthritis? they need drugs, physical therapy, or surgery.)
williamcarter93 13
Psychologists can offer advice in whatever field they happen to specialize in, but they cannot prescribe medicine.