Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
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Top comments
I_Punch_Babies 7
if its on tv it must be true :-/
Meowingtons500 18
Oh boy, wait until she sees Maury.
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Comments (208)
96skeeter 6
I wouldn't listen to a guy that could not even keep his own family together and who isn't even a real doctor.
ShyAnn29 15
What do you mean? His family is together.
benhd1 14
He either didn't go to college or dropped out/ was kicked out
HerrBawl 4
The question is: Why aren't you?
unknown_user5566 27
My thoughts exactly. If OP wasn't involved before, having the mom think they're involved anyways is like a free pass. Sex it up, OP.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Agreeing so much. Sex is fun, so sex parties? Bring them on!
DocBastard 40
I'm glad she's listening to Dr. Phil. Doctors never lie. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
shinshoku13 19
Oooo a new picture
nelds 12
I didn't recognise his comment with the new photo :p
Marteeny23 19
A dislocated fake hip?
DocBastard 40
Marteeny - I'd prefer to call it prosthetic, but yes it's dislocated. Good call - a gold star and a chocolate chip cookie for you!
nublets 12
If you look carefully you can see the outline of the pelvis.. Or is that just me?
Inediblepeaches 15
It looks like a guy looking into a bowl to me....
Marteeny23 19
DocBastard- it looks almost the same as an x-ray my grandma had a few years back
ShyAnn29 15
141, no it's not just you, I see it too.
Molzen 3
The TV box machine told me...
Inediblepeaches 15
Well... Are you?
ManInTheMachine 20
Your mum is probably a hypochondriac aswell. If she thinks you're doing something because someone on television made a generalized statement about it, then you should discourage her from watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Disturbia. For your neighbor's and local zoo's benefit, as well as yours. FYL
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You obviously don't know what a hypochondriac is.
ManInTheMachine 20
Actually I do. Example: Hypochondriac victim watches news and sees report on recent avian flu cases. H-victim, shortly after seeing the report, feels they are exhibiting symptoms of avian flu, and worries that they have contracted it, despite being in very good health. That is an example of a hypochondriac. The second half my comment was just relating to the mum mentioned in the FML.
unknown_user5566 27
Agreed. OP's mom probably also believes the world is ending in December. OP, tell your mom to stop watching TV and start building a post-apocolyptic shelter.
OkitaCockroach 19
Perhaps she's just concerned for you, and why you're not getting any.
Inediblepeaches 15
I can't pay attention you your comment... Your picture's still creeping me out....
urmomshouse 0
Most moms think that for awhile and then move on. Its aight OP
nelds 12
My mum has never thought that about any of her 4 children.
Il_Maestro 6
She catches you hosting a sex party ONE time and suddenly you're a *****...
Enslaved 38
Ugh! I hate Dr. Phil. When are they going to cancel that show?!
nightwanderer 6
24 When idiots like OP's mom stop buying in to his BS
tony1891 22
Dr Phil doesn't lie. lol