Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
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Top comments
I_Punch_Babies 7
if its on tv it must be true :-/
Meowingtons500 18
Oh boy, wait until she sees Maury.
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Comments (208)
amspawforth 4
Then your mom is just silly. Surely you have some sort of social networking where she could look and see that you're not into sex parties and that you just go out to have fun with your friends, not participate in orgys.
unknown_user5566 27
Because it's impossible to post fake information/statuses on social networking sites...?
nelds 12
You're just mad no one invited you to these sex parties.
Mekeritrig 15
Remember the hysteria about Rainbow parties after Oprah did an episode about it? It was hilarious; my mum actually sat my sister and me down and asked if he had ever been to one.
Mekeritrig 15
*if we had ever been to one.
skyeyez9 25
I remember watching that episode. Good thing it was not when my parents were there cause it would have made it uncomfortable.
pennies_lane 6
so what IS a rainbow party???
skyeyez9 25
Each Girl puts different colored lipstick on and go down the line sucking boys dicks. Leaving their penises apparently different colors. It was supposedly popular amongst middle school ******.
ezelisko 1
Dr. Phil needs to end up like Rosie O'Donnell career in talk shows.
Toonz321 4
Haha fun times
eyecon502 13
Quit your whining and arrange one!
thezeke74 6
Your mom is an idiot. FYL
caplox 6
Just shows that she cares who you're hanging out with. I think.
Kenton1008 21
Or it just shows that she's really gullible and believes anything a bald man on the TV says.
poptart840 5
Or overprotective to the point of general insanity o.O
Roflsauruz 12
Sounds like my Grandmother. Once she figured out how to use her computer, she started sending me spam forwards with this at the beginning: VERIFIED BY SNOPES!!! FWD TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!! ...... :/
aFreedom127 9
So where's the party tonight?