Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
slutybunny777 0
hahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahah but really u hav never had an ******
CallMeHush 1
What the hell does that thing run on? Either your "friend" tried it out for a month or two, you know just to make sure it works or you need to jump that thing off a truck battery.
yoyobecks 0
i can give you an ****** no problem
Lonely_Lez 0
#21: She's saying she'd never had an ****** at all. She never said that her vibrator was a person. OP: That sucks. Batteries that come with things tend to suck. Get some better ones and try again. Good luck!
littlejacks4 0
#21, stop trying to be a smart ass. she obviously meant there was no hope for an ****** until she got the vibrator. if she didn't know the difference between a person and a vibrator, she wouldn't be up and running on FML, now would she?
slutybunny777 0
#45 will u give me one haahah
genius_man16 1
i second #34 XD also your life is ****** not because your vibrator couldn't get you off, but because you have had shitty sex partners
allmidnighteyes 11
#24 - LOL
Ommis 0
use the energizer bunny power next time. it = win for you.
mistystarlight 0
man that sucks! probably used batteries that got sucked dry bc vibraters use a lot of energy. she probably took a little longer than normal due to the fact it takes a long time for certain girls to reach that big "O" moment. Especially the frist "O".