Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
greeneye_fml 12
That's why experts trust Duracell batteries - whether you're fixing a space shuttle or depending on a vibrator, it just has to work. BTW, ROFL.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
I love you. XD that made me laugh so hard. OP; Awwwh. Your friend must've used it before ?_? Which is reaaaallly gross, if you think about it.
TerranEarth 0
Must have taken you awhile before climaxing for the battery to die lol. Lol, I can now picture a girl going into a walgreens or whatever and investing in a 16 pack of duracell triple a batteries. ROFLMAO!
BrownieBoy90 0
HAHA #3 FTW! This is one of the funnier FML's on here....
breaksprinter_ 0
lol #3, hahahahahahaha. if you can't ****** without a vibrator, there is a problem. you don't know how to make yourself ****** just by masturbating? it's pretty simple. the only word you need to know: ********. look it up and you will be able to give yourself mind-blowing orgasms, no guys needed. [although, guys are preferable. :)]
screw_this_120 0
Not everyone can get off from fingers alone. If you're not as sensitive on your clit, you're kind of screwed. No pun intended.
bettyboo_x 0
25? 2 girls one cup? Not seen it? n 24 its gross! have you seen one guy one cup? so gross Just a question, hoow long was the OP going for the batteries to die out?? Unless it came already used, ewww
likeduhhx4 0
and how long were you using it if the battery just died ? hmmmm...
AdvocataDiaboli 0
DON'T use "good" batteries like Duracell and Energizer in your sex toys! It burns out the motor, or so every (non-sketch) sex toy shop has ever told me. Heck, that might have been what happened to your vibrator... the motor died, not the battery. Use cheap low power batteries.
CodeMonkey123 0
Um, how is this an FML? And ew...
AdvocataDiaboli 0
Anyway, this is totally an FML. Anything that involves being interrupted 2 seconds before ******, especially a hard-won ******, is FML.
CodeMonkey123 0
Lmao @ #34