Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
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Top comments
sprigs_ 32
Just talk to him about it. If you are comfortable having sex with him than you should be able to talk to your partner about it.
Steve95401 49
This is your opportunity to teach a few things - maybe a lot of things.
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Comments (59)
pimpmilk69 18
Yeah have fun with that...
izzymissouri 3
I certainly hope in that moment you decided to sterilize yourself and everyone around you.
VitalDistance 14
Don't worry. I'm pretty sure during my first time I'll be wondering if I'm supposed to take my pants off.
BrokenDreamer24 15
I just laughed a little too hard. All because I saw this honest-to-god-serious teenager face and a little nod to go with this post.
VitalDistance 14
I didn't know I was that serious lol
the_aspect 28
talk to him first before doing it. He can understand or he may have questions for you to answer when the conversation is initiated between you and him that way there is fair warning between you and your significant other.
PickledSweets 22
I actually think that's really sweet :) To me it would be a fun experience teaching my boyfriend about sex, that way it will be great for both of you, because you can teach him the way you like it! And besides, would you rather have a guy who hasn't slept with anyone, or a guy whose slept with everyone?
Cayers97 12
Every nice guy who is still a virgin is thinking "there's still hope"
munchkinikki 1
I wasn't aware there was no middle between a virgin and manwhore..
archnarquibquib 21
39: If you're not a virgin, you might as well be a manwhore. /sarcasm
xbaconator9000x 16
Words of wisdom
gracehi 33
You are the master. Now show your padawan the ways of the force... the dark side of the force. ;) *BOW CHICKA WOW WOW*
False_Stupidity 42
Approve of this, Yoda does not.
classicsparkles 17
That's when you get up, say outloud as if to a studio audience "This guy." And, exit.
DamnBailie 23
I think its cute. This just shows that you both can practice. Alot. Until he understands. lmao.
lemeows 2
Woah, this is MY FML. But the mods posted it as "anonymous" and rewrote it? Not cool.