Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
Today, while stumbling drunkenly down a trail, I saw a sign that said "Watch for Falling Rocks." I spent the next five minutes confused and wondering how I was supposed to know which rocks were planning to fall. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I tripped on a rock, fell in a pond, and lost my phone. All while dressed as a banana for a charity run. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Just run, OP. You'll be the rabbit, and the turtle can be... the turtle.
lordslaya53 14
Oh snap you better run!
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Comments (77)
lickastick 27
I've always dreamed of riding a turtle. Here's your chance!
RedPillSucks 33
I don't think you want a snapping turtle near your ass, or any other body part within proximity.
ottokat 15
Ooh, that bites OP. I do hope you weren't actually bitten though, and that you feel better. If you dont really run that often or that long, you probably got dehydrated.
johnnyshred612 4
IT WAS A ROCK LOBSTAAAHHHH
ShyAnn29 15
I guess it's time to call the turtleman! YiYiYiYiYiYiYi live action!!
NPN_Scorpio 16
Oh, snap!
Valle79 5
Oi, no need to get snappy!
HarryF18 9
I thought u were gonna mention the slenderman, so i threw my ipod at th wall, accidentaly:(
tgabes 9
No reason to get snappy... XD
Shade1982 21
You have snapping turtles in Illinois? Cool :).
Ziggy122 15
The way this was worded, I was half expecting it to say, "It wasn't a rock. It was a rock LOBSTER!" Doo-doo-doo-doo-do-do-dodododo... ROCK LOBSTER!