Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
Today, while stumbling drunkenly down a trail, I saw a sign that said "Watch for Falling Rocks." I spent the next five minutes confused and wondering how I was supposed to know which rocks were planning to fall. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I tripped on a rock, fell in a pond, and lost my phone. All while dressed as a banana for a charity run. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Just run, OP. You'll be the rabbit, and the turtle can be... the turtle.
lordslaya53 14
Oh snap you better run!
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Comments (77)
FuckYourLife30 13
Liar you watch too many movies
FrankHotpants 31
Reminded me of the Austin powers scene "yes I'll have the turtle soup and make it snappy, and at the same time I need it prompt."
mattrd_fml 31
Im glad you're okay op. snapping turtles can be really dangerous.
RedWingSD 6
Where the heck do you live!?!?
Goblin182 27
That was one big-ass turtle, or you like to sit on small rocks.
MinnieBitch 5
Just jumping top of it like super Mario, maybe it will die
TM24D 15
Did it bite?
Jjimen1654 9
Hope the turtle snapped you out of your dizzy spell.
TogeBara 12
shoulda went all Steve Irwin on it and been like "Crikey" afterwards. I wouldn't know what happened. And you'd be safe since it isn't a sting ray.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Did you snap out of your blurry vision after?