Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later, his Twitter account said otherwise. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I hadn't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML
Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML
Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
Koalax3 18
I would've honestly asked him if i could go over so I could play with the cat.. But that's just me
booze_n_bitches 37
"Pleading cat" - a genuine excuse in my household to excuse oneself from any activity. I'm with him on this one.
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Comments (111)
TeasinDaNoobs 16
A little heads up would've been nice.. Sorry about that OP
iseebearbears 27
YDI for having to deal with a pussy.
Sangue0608 26
Actually she was dealing with a guy who was dealing with a pussy.
ThrottleJockey 36
Well, a pussy in the lap is worth two in the bush, or something like that...
ThrottleJockey 36
Well, a pussy in the lap is worth two in the bush, or something like that...
ThrottleJockey 36
Well, a pussy in the lap is worth two in the bush, or something like that...
Not_Ericg14 2
I guess the only pussy he was playing with that night was his own...
CaroAurelia 12
That is kind of a lame excuse, but at the same time... Have you ever had a cat fall asleep in your lap? Have you ever seen a sleeping cat in general? It would be cruel to wake one.
Avashantu 18
So, he obviously still had his phone with him if he could reply to your text. Why couldn't he have called beforehand?
ohSNAPyall 27
Because he's a lazy, inconsiderate coward.
PrimeStarscream 30
You could've told him "Well, I guess that's all the pussy action you'll get then."
tamthough 9
Hey. I'd do the same thing tbh