Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
Nevermind212 11
Thanks god you didn't say your boyfriend
Queensland 27
Dodged a bullet there OP. Better sex once then no more, than him coming back and using you for sex.
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Comments (79)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
My biggest concern is that OP refers to the guy as simply "the guy." Not boyfriend, husband, or even friend. Therefore, OP, YDI for sleeping with some random person.
scizor0138 10
Did you turn him straight too?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'd like to know why, exactly, my comment was moderated. I didn't say anything worse than anyone else, and I've seen a lot worse on other FMLs. What about the one that says "don't have sex, you'll get pregnant and die" and the one that says "I'm sure having a small dick and a big ego is awkward." That seems more derogatory than what I said...and since I have no way to PM the admins, I'm leaving it here. I didn't insult OP, I stated what countless other people have stated on similar FMLs, and they haven't gotten their comments moderated. And it does concern me that the guy is listed as "the guy" and nothing more. Sorry if I still have standards.
Peashooter 0
I would say this- have sex with me so I can Properly assess your ability - then I can teach you how to become better
HighlandShadows 48
#58 is right... **** is totally unrealistic and suggesting that OP use it as some sort of guideline only shines a light on your own ignorance.
natywantspeace 7
Oh noooo :( hey cheer up, it was probably all in his head if you didn't feel awkward yourself. If you did too, then it is better to not have to deal with someone who isn't willing to improve with you.
UFIUETSimpdesign 5
Hahahahaha that suks
hellolovesucks12 2
What an ass I'm sorry
tannara 12
Hahahhahahahah that's unfortunate
wizzkid93 9
Cut his nuts off