Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
Nevermind212 11
Thanks god you didn't say your boyfriend
Queensland 27
Dodged a bullet there OP. Better sex once then no more, than him coming back and using you for sex.
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Comments (79)
Poetaster 10
"The guy"?.... Did you know him?
TheAngryPrincess 3
Don't have sex. You'll get pregnant and die.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
What the ****..? Shit... Better go make a will since I'm gonna all the sudden have a kid and then die. Gotta provide for it!
CharresBarkrey 16
48 - All of a sudden* And this is from a movie, calm down.
mFUNdo21 17
it's a movie reference bud
wobbley 9
what an ass, better off without him
Imaginationn 6
if he wasnt your boyfriend then I would just forget about it
HAno97 12
Hm...well maybe you weren't doing somethin right:P
pedinhuh 23
To be fair, sex is kind of awkward...
reymon8823 24
Damn that really sucks
papasik 6
Do you think you must be straight now?
Inked0803 12
Yeah I'm sure having a small dick and a big ego is very awkward
TheWhiteLotus 5
If you're going by **** as your guidelines for how it should be done, then going by everything in the Bible must be in your line of logic, as well.