Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML
Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
ItsAUnicorn 27
Tea bag!
RageWolf16 31
It's okay my dad owns the penis bone of a walrus
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Comments (110)
CrazayJulzKay 5
Fur is gross in general. Ripping the flesh off an animal is just as disgusting as ripping off the testicles.
Shade1982 21
So, you would rather have they throw it away? I was always taught to never waste any part of an animal. If an animal is killed for any reason, you night as well use it. If it was solely killed for it's fur, then you are right, but only then.
Plexia 9
'Ripping the flesh off an animal' for fur is just as weird as eating the flesh off a animal for food. You may as well sell the fur if you're gonna eat it. Plus kangaroo is delicious, and would definitely not care that you wore him afterwards.
Weasely 11
I don't think humanity could've expanded very far if it weren't for "ripping" the fur off of other animals.
Dustmop 18
I see them all the time in the city ahaha. When I first picked it up I was wondering what it was too, Kind of obvious looking at the shape...
amarie2009 22
Yeah right like you never had balls to the face before!
Calfml2 8
my penis kangaroo
recked 3
Do you know any Arseneaults? The story is spit in with a family members story.
EffyFails 18
personally, whether it was it's testicles or just a random part of it I don't feel it makes much of a difference I'm assuming it would have been cleaned so would be as clean as any other piece but still as gross as rubbing dead animal on your face they could easily use that part and just alter it so the shape is less obvious and not mark what section of the animal it was from, it was obviously novelty for that purpose if you see a stall full of animal furs and rub them on your face what can you expect sorry
stloda 8
I'm laughing so hard!
alpacalips 7
i dont pick up oddly shaped furry things to rub them on my face
caitlynbiersack 5
Tea bagged XD!
Ilikepie82479 20
*Alien guy* "Australia"