Today, my husband's cousin told me it's a tradition that I should have sex with the eldest male cousin (him) as a rite of passage, and I probably don't know this being of foreign origin. I emigrated here and met my husband when we were 6. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML
Today, after 20 years together and 9 years of marriage, I found out that my husband has been having an affair with my cousin for 6 years. The same cousin who came over every Friday. Who he wanted to be godmother to our 3 kids. FML
Today, I had a family reunion and there were a lot of people there that I didn't know. The person that I'd been sleeping with for about 7 months showed up. He's my cousin. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
Today, barely 24 hours after we decided that yes, we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, I caught my “boyfriend” with his cock down my cousin's throat. FML
Today, while visiting family in my very small hometown for the summer, I met a guy and we really hit it off. Everything was going great, and I brought him home to meet my family, where my grandmother told me he was 16. Now I’m definitely not getting lucky this trip. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Ask your husband about this tradition, preferably when this cousin is present.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your husband's cousin has been trying to have sex with you since you were six? You might want to report that to someone.
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Comments (19)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your husband's cousin has been trying to have sex with you since you were six? You might want to report that to someone.
irrelephant1 19
Isn't it funny just how important that comprehension is?
Glowworm56 27
Oh, OP is Welsh. I was starting to think this was in Alabama.
RichardPencil 32
Ask your husband about this tradition, preferably when this cousin is present.
hpand 5
Yeah, him calling you a foreigner is what's bothersome here?
DragonMaiden7 15
That is creepy. No matter where you’re from
DMA 11
Careful, OP. Sounds like you might be living in fanfic for an obscure fantasy novel. Watch out for words that sound like they were made up on the spot and Mary Sues.
Jerry Leberer 12
that cousin sounds like total trash
irrelephant1 19
Your husband cousin is a pos. Guys arent supposed to do that to other guys. That is way too "All in the Family".
KittyMack 13
"to other guys"!? You think the husband is the victim here? This poor lady has a sleazeball harassing her- SHE is the victim. You sound like one of those red pill douches who don't consider women real people, just trophies.
tounces7 28
Sort of. I mean her husband just had a family member basically stab him in the back. She, on the other hand, can just refuse the "offer".
KittyMack 13
It's pretty wild how some guys think women are so stupid we'd fall for the silliest manipulation attempts. My own worst one was the dingus claimed we had been lovers in a previous life. It's so much more offensive than a simple "DTF?" because not only are they trying to lie their way into your pants, but they are making it clear they think you have an IQ around five. Tip: Letting a gal know you think she's stupid AF is NOT a good seduction strategy.
DragonMaiden7 15
Surprisingly, Mormons actually believe that they are married in Heaven, and when they come to Earth are destined to be married here too. So he might have been Mormon.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
where in the divine holy **** do you live