Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML
Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML
Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML
Today, I found out the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend has been fucking his first cousin in the booty on the regular for years, and was still fucking her while seeing me. I feel disgusting. He’s 32 and she’s 28 and thinks they’re going to get married. FML
Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Well, that's one thing to take to the grave.
TwoBytesCarley 27
Talk about keepin’ it in the family..
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Comments (10)
MidnaLink 35
Well, that's one thing to take to the grave.
AzraelAngelus 15
I’d confess if I were you if not because of religious beliefs at least so you might feel better
RichardPencil 32
So what? You can still bang her. And then brag about to a priest.
randybryant799 21
As long as she's not your first cousin it doesn't matter.
RichardPencil 32
There are some states that let first cousins marry.
TwoBytesCarley 27
Talk about keepin’ it in the family..
Hangryko 32
How did you not know!? Wouldn't her name tip you off?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You can have cousins on your mother's side you know. And if you didn't know, maybe you're also banging a cousin.
snegec 7
Unless she's actually your sister the DNA disparity is enough that there won't be any lasting effects even if you do decide to procreate.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Not true. You at least double the risk of passing on genetic disorders with a cousin vs some random person. And it's higher if you're from an ethnic group that doesn't have much diversity already. Admittedly you'll probably get away with it most of the time, unlike a full sibling.
poeserpursche 11
Singalong: Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue Sweet home Alabama Lord I'm comin' home to you
Mathew Nordli 7
guess it was kinkier then you thought
spinningrecords 14
Definitely “take it to the grave” kinky. Dang