Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
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Top comments
may_cause_fail 0
Don't flatter yourself.
itsame123_fml 0
uuh.... who does that anywy??? thats sick
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Comments (178)
Paraxi 0
The word you were looking for was "conductor." Unfortunately, you still wouldn't have been correct. The conductor is the one driving the train, the ticket taker was the one you saw. You deserve what you got you bimbo.
icanhazfmlz 0
HAHAHAH. Cool guy, mahn
ummmyeahhh 0
12- actually, the people who take tickets on trains are also called conductors. they just don't drive the train. OP, hope you didn't get fined. maybe next time you should hit on a different conductor tho?
McZeal 0
you got played on that one
InsaneOblongata 0
HAHAAHAHA! Your ***** powers didn't work!
CharonTheShadow 0
Epic ***** fail
Endymion_fml 0
Hahahahaha. Serves you right. Thinking you could just (figurativly) bat your lashes and let your looks (well, that's assuming you're good looking. Maybe the conductor was being nice, claiming he was gay) give you an easy ride. I hope you DID have to pay the fine, just for being a slutty bitch. Aw, sucks being treated like everyone else, huh?
justjayit 0
It's ridiculous that you think you can get away with things by flaunting physical features. Now the CONDUCTOR thinks you're a skanky fool as do the rest of us on FML.
alex_vik 1
Maybe you should actually pay your ticket and not just be a ***** to try and get a free one? Women these days.
paniclovie 0
a little slutty, but come on people. none of you have ever used your looks to get what you want? bullshit.
Blacksabbath211 9
I can completely honestly say that I have never done that.
ThePeanutLord 0
me neither. I have my pride.
sahreeg 0
OMG YOU JUST FAILED IN LIFE !!!!