Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
Today, I woke up early and went into the kitchen to get a Monster, and my dad was getting head from his girlfriend with no pants on. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
worldclassrager 41
Go back into your room and stare into the sun...that will make you blind so this doesn't happen again
Exobadger 15
Be optimistic... it could have been 2 balls..or a dick.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
Exobadger 15
Be optimistic... it could have been 2 balls..or a dick.
pikmin5764 18
Or 3 balls could be worse but I hope you forget soon OP
spacefish966 18
tickle, tickle......
ellabellaboom 24
Could have been two balls AND a dick.
jtfrisch 22
OP YOU USED TO LIVE IN THAT
PrideOfTheFallen 19
Keep eating processed meat you'll get that ass cancer too
meli1195 31
but bacon is so delicious
MrSassypants 34
It's a catch 22. You eat the bacon, you get ass cancer. You don't eat the bacon, then you don't eat the bacon. It's a sad world indeed.
jawarston 24
where it say he was eating processed meat?
Colon_Man 17
Don't make lite of ass cancer... or meats.
worldclassrager 41
Go back into your room and stare into the sun...that will make you blind so this doesn't happen again
venomousflower 24
But he will always have a the memory engraved in his brain
worldclassrager 41
Think happy thoughts
anythingrandom 23
what has been seen, has been seen.
czarinaluv 9
that was perfect.
imStoneCold 7
Then that will be his last memory of vision. Haunting him for the rest of his life.
mjmaher81 5
It's stuff like that that you don't forget. Eh, you've both got them, though. You've spent enough time with yours, I'm sure.
EyRaB 17
*passes you the brain bleach*
lexred 30
y r u bothered abt ur dads balls?
countryb_cth 38
I'm more bothered with your awful spelling.
Dick_diamond 22
Why aren't you?
lexred 30
y what's wrong with the spelling?
Jared900DUmpling 30
Everything.
worldclassrager 41
This is FML not texting...even though FML is an lingo...
iwanttogotoparis 26
Some parents need to learn boundaries
jawarston 24
it's his dad's house.
ncparry 18
Um yeah, parent's house, I do believe they can do what they want.
allykaymorris 24
At least it was only one ball... :/
sstahpp 33
Still no bright side :/
infinitemonkey 21
You are a delicate flower.
Colon_Man 17
Not anymore.
zarrganaut 17
Hey, not everyone can be glamorous when they wake up in the morning. :p