Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning, only to find out that I had been brushing my teeth wrong for years. He told me you're supposed to let the toothpaste do its magic instead of rinsing it off. Is this true? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, my dentist told me I have a cavity and blamed it on the "subpar" toothpaste I've been using - the same toothpaste he recommended six months ago at my last appointment. FML
Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
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Top comments
pleasedie 22
Congratulations ! You're dating one of those special types of idiots
gosh_mate 30
Find some scientific evidence to back up the view that you need to actually brush your teeth. If he still doesn't believe that, then tell him having decayed teeth isn't fun. His mouth is going to get real nasty, real soon.
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Comments (69)
TonierShadow 19
Hold on, let's hear this guy out; he is definitely on to something here.
simplyluisjavier 8
If he's over 25, dump him. That's gross, and it'll only get worse. #StankBreath
melanielovejeff 15
Who wants teeth for fossils?!
Cherry83_fml 3
dump him. that is just gross.
lvg_fml 10
Eeewwwww. No more kissing for him
Catdragon 40
for a while as a child I went on a limited hair brushing and tooth brushing streak. I found out that you either go all out and brush every single day multiple times or not at all. if you brush your teeth only a few times, you get cavities and stuff. but maybe that was a coincidence. trust me, I stopped that streak and brush at least two times a day.
ChaiseT 16
That's disgusting
Cookiestar1313 11
Does he kiss his mom with that mouth?
Witchylady 18
Your boyfriend is a complete idiot.
turkishwife 10
Well he was partly right that there is a conspiracy but it is with the flouride and not the rest. Just as with most shots and medicines...there are more natural affective ways for those who actually know how to research and back there evidence.