Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, my date told me that he, his parents, and grandparents, believe that all doctors, but especially dentists, are nothing but drug-pushing crooks, and therefore completely unnecessary. Oh and the fact that they’ve all lost their teeth is “genetic” and has nothing to do with their hygiene. FML
Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
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Top comments
bluhbluhbluh 14
Tell him you wouldn't mind letting him die alone.
jbuckets_404 39
Well, he's not wrong. We are all going to die.... JS. As for not remaining hygienic, that's a non-starter for couples. Good luck, OP!
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Comments (10)
bluhbluhbluh 14
Tell him you wouldn't mind letting him die alone.
RichardPencil 32
Do you want to spend the next 31 years with this Debbie Downer? To his defense, the U.K. is probably going to go extinct way before 2050. Brexit is even stupider than our 2016 election.
tiptoppc 21
Our current election of an orange baboon is dummer than brexit!
Cat Michele Davila 3
eww. can't imagine how bad he smells in bed.
stickyface 17
According to Malthus, we inevitably suffered our first massive die-off over a century ago. Oh wait, that didn't happen. We also had the population bomb go off in the 80s and had a global famine. Hundreds of millions starved. Whoops. No, it was an ice age. Acid rain. Global warming. Stuff it, just call it all climate change and they'll fall for it again when we keep passing the point of no return without disastrous effect. Warn about rising ocean levels, but buy a beach house. /rant Sorry your boyfriend is unusually gullible. Either that or he's just a slob and he thinks you're gullible enough to fall for his excuse. Either way, ditch him. Gross.
jbuckets_404 39
Well, he's not wrong. We are all going to die.... JS. As for not remaining hygienic, that's a non-starter for couples. Good luck, OP!
Traveling_Book 9
That’s a truly baffling thought process. I mean I might be on board if the world would end tomorrow or maybe even this week, but his calculations are still 31 freaking years away! How gross.
oped01 8
Looks like you got a winner there.
ViviMage 40
And just 40 days or not brushing your teeth can lead to a serious mouth infection. Not to mention all the boils and pimples on your skin you can get, sounds like a winner you've picked out.
OnReceivingEnd 18
Me: "That's so adorable, that you think you'll live that long...."
DLBL 23
So, 30 years of filth. Tell me he's your ex.