Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me, and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me… until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML
Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
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Top comments
fish1806 0
what a jerk!!
Doortje 30
I can see why you're in love with him, such a gentleman.
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Comments (349)
CrazyManNo9 29
You called it making love? He called it sex. Sure, he's a dick. But, you should be more realistic too.
nessaface25 14
wow. nice best friend. fyl.
izzy7 11
I'd sit on his doorstep. He's got to come out eventually.
jaff23 11
this guys your best friend? tell everyone he's a s*** shag with a small d***, that will show him
theten_fml 9
OMG! I hope you didn't just spoil the movie, "friends with benefits," that's coming out soon
christen09 8
he was just playing...
clemcool_fml 0
what...a...dick........wow. I'm assuming since you knew how long a walk it would be that you didn't have any means to call a cab, so double suck. I'd be sure to throw something heavy though a window before I started that walk if I were you. or restrain yourself and call the police to see if they could give you a ride. I know not every officer would do it, but sometimes if you're in a bad situation the cops around here will help out.
SLC_grumpypants 5
Ass he is!!
iHateThisLife 10
f* that!
ADeadMau5 0
Friends with benefits...?