Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML
Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
purpleamandapand 6
Sassy telemarketor
CryMoreFMLs 15
I haven't had a girlfriend yet and people say it's oh so wonderful, but all I see are people cheating on one another. (in real life too) I'm just waiting for the right girl, thats all, and I'm obviously not going to find them at my school.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
purpleamandapand 6
Sassy telemarketor
AmethystRain 20
When one of those annoying douches calls my house, I always say "hold on, let me get her for you" then I just never come back to the phone.
littlemissFYL 5
*10 lol actually when telemarketers call me, I keep them on the phone for as long as I can making up sob stories. the same way they annoy me is the same way I annoy them. :D
BeatlesObsessed 12
Were you lonely and needed to talk to someone about your personal life? I mean, there's people for that, OP.
biasedshooter 24
here's your sign!
daisyloo 7
1, aren't they all? Haha
grapisy 8
I always say I'm busy then ask for their home number so I can call back later.
dolphincheddar 10
telemarketers are the bane of peaceful moments. they always call at the most annoying times to sell you random useless shit
Iamnotmyself 17
I always get this one persons calls about some T.V. thing. I pretend that me and him are having sex while I talk to him. Very fun.
futtbuck101 1
Well it was sarah's birthday yesterday
ScaughtieHolden 11
They what and hung up? 0.0 it's snickered.
HannahForbesxo 13
58- Sniggered is an english word. It's not incorrect.
baconstrips 12
I thought it was a lame prank call? Usually telemarketers don't call in groups.
powderpuffjord13 0
I bet you got so much girls that you forgot you even had girlfriends such a natural :D
pertained 12
lol, OP just walked into that.
LordGoober 13
When a telemarketer calls trying to sell you something, just try to sell them something back and they will hang up in a hurry.
carlovr435 10
I always try to sell them stuff i have laying around, or speak to them in different languages.
ChelseaXD 0
58, that's what I thought..
ArentICute 0
When I was just learning how to speak, my father use to give the phone to me and I would ramble on about everything I did that day, what I wanted for Christmas and such.
dolphincheddar 10
64. **** you I have a bacon craving now :(
grrrrmetigers 0
haha way to be(:
qyka 5
sniggered? ydi
robnunzi12 2
exactly sounds racial ydi
omgcookeys 15
the way to be is single and proud. :)
taazer 12
hmmm.... thats normal :-/
FlashBurn 13
Keep your private life to yourself! I've never had one either, it's not as bad as people think it is.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I haven't had a girlfriend yet and people say it's oh so wonderful, but all I see are people cheating on one another. (in real life too) I'm just waiting for the right girl, thats all, and I'm obviously not going to find them at my school.
jonmansheppard 9
^Agreed. Gotta wait for the right one.
Grimmerie 31
and i'm not a virgin! funny, that.
OneBigMessUp 5
lol unluckyy.
baddud300 6
I'm gonna be honest i only gave you a thumbs up because i think ur hot...
J1hill33 12
and what did you expect to happen when you told them that
howslife123 0
they just know what loners to call don't they
atldude28 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*snickered u used the n word, lol
cBlackout 13
kinda sounds weird tho
shift_love 13
I lol'd at it thinking it was a misspelling as well.
DocBastard 40
Sounds weird? What the hell is wrong with it? It's a perfectly normal English word, just like niggardly, floccinaucinihilipilification, nudiustertian, pronk, and scopperloit. Yes, those are all actual English words.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Not to quick up there, eh?
ByteCarter97 0
niggardly can't be a non-racist word
ByteCarter97 0
I was wrong, but it sounds to have a racist base 1.Not generous; stingy serving out the rations with a niggardly hand 2.Meager; scanty their share is a niggardly 2.7 percent
DKjazz 20
Liverpudlian!
Sirin_fml 47
Well, if it sounds racist, that probably says more about the reader than it does the actual word.
prince122 0
snigger is a word me and my friends thought we made up. it means sand ****** in our awesome dictionary :D. (sninja is sand ninja but that's not important.
prince122 0
snigger is a word me and my friends thought we made up. it means sand ****** in our awesome dictionary :D. (sninja is sand ninja but that's not important.)
roguespartan113 15
actually its not really the n word its slang
KatrinaKitten 16
You shouln't have spoken from your annoyance; Instead, a simple "**** off", followed by a hanging up of the phone would be more efficient.
KatrinaKitten 16
shouldn't* It's typo day for me.
baconstrips 12
Didn't even notice it until you pointed it out lol
unluckygrk12 8
i agree. lol i always stop and smh at ppl who waste time jus to make other ppl miserablr.
Jakaroo 0
bet it was a prank call and you just told them u have no love life......
samijade 0
Exactly what I was thinking..