Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
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Top comments
1DisGR8 32
At least you know you're a great human being for asking if he was okay even though you're the one who almost got killed!
mellib381 15
Careless son of a b****
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Comments (92)
mellib381 15
Careless son of a b****
DraconicFeline 31
Dude, the website is called **** My Life. You can say 'bitch'.
Shadowvoid 33
Hey, he may be a bitch, but OP can **** this guy with the legal system for being an asshole.
shemademedoit 20
#61 I'm sure the children now a days know more curse words than school studies. maybe she doesn't like cursing or she's religious
sunny354wi 8
For **** sake, say it......BITCH!
pjsr 33
Because so many children use this site
cameosurgeon 16
you'd be surprised how many children use this site. I remember my brothers reading me the more appropriate fmls when I was like ten.
jaydots 16
hope he did to sorry op
JKPwnage 27
Hate to break it to you, but I don't think he did anything to sorry OP. I think he left OP unsorried. Must not be a very good sorrier. He should take sorrying lessons. Maybe then he can do something to sorry OP.
Eyalsh 32
as a grammar nazi myself, i'd like to embrace what's stated in the Reply above. please use Commas; because "let's eat grandma" and "let's eat, Grandma!" are totally different. "to" indicates direction "too" as in "also" (me too, etc.) sorry for the Rant. i'm bored. i'll show myself out.
keyofdestiny13 24
57, I don't think you're a Grammar Nazi...
DFMLharsh 20
having a picture of uma thurman from pulp fiction as your display picture is the only reason im not gonna go bezerk here but just because you are from Germany, it doesn't make you a grammar nazi.. Nuh uh
e_is_for_eli 12
"I'm a self-proclaimed Grammar Nazi yet I fail to capitalize my "I"s and instead choose to capitalize everything else all willy-nilly!"
keithsbooty 20
Some never learn how life works..
1DisGR8 32
At least you know you're a great human being for asking if he was okay even though you're the one who almost got killed!
MrConcise 35
"I hope you're okay, so I can sue the **** out of you."
FMLusername969 21
Hopefully you called the police to reconstruct the scene/take inventory of this idiot's demeanor. No doubt he will try to blame you and it would be your word against his.
redstone7693 29
Some people are just so stupid.
Tigertamer01 15
I hope he gets ****** over
thefmlman2011 37
Bend over
lexwilder 16
You should have said "why do you need a good insurance agent?" That guys sounds like an ass.
asherm 15
Or "hope you have a good lawyer".
DFMLharsh 20
Better call Saul!
Tavers 19
Yeah, if I was OP, I probably woulda punched the guy upon hearing that. I hope OP is more level headed than me..
jcshadow 16
Hope you were like no, you need to hope you have insurance idiot
CommentKing207 23
Bad things happen to good people. Sorry OP!
whyme5200 17
what an ass