Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
designedlikedice 0
At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.
Sonalis 9
Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.
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Comments (143)
FMLOVER_ 0
thats disgusting! i dont know what i wouldve done..... and #40, thats not even the same thing...
sinbadmac 0
Really, the worst part of this is the fact that it was probly covered in pesticide. People do eat bugs while sleeping, many actually. Also you might want to avoid chocolate because it has bugs in it too, corn has quite a few in it too.
babyyx 0
haha, sick.
nikki1001 0
#35, lmao! Gross, that made me cringe so bad.
BaldOuting 0
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew - this is going to give me nightmares!
lolo527 0
HAHAHAHA...that is so gross...funny...but really really gross!!
jimmyb00o5 0
Be honest, you've swallowed worse.
efmivida 0
roaches are huge thats pretty bad... good thing you didnt choke it up or something... ughhh
kellster 2
EWWWWWW! That is so gross!
Claire_bear 0
35 hahhah! Props for u. Can someone tell me what OP stand for? I know it means the person who typed the FML, but do the letters stand for something?
blkwhtrbbt 0
original poster