Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
designedlikedice 0
At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.
Sonalis 9
Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.
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Comments (143)
MechaMew2 0
#8 Did all of the Google ads involve some kind of bug exterminators? Mine did... that's... kinda creepy.
Jaywin 3
No #93 that's actually normal Google ads behavior. This ad I saw was for a Papa Roach concert or tour or something and it was legit. Not a google ad.
babyjane_fml 0
Perhaps you should invest in a pack of surgical masks?.......
buhnaynay 0
haha #8 me too
tibbler 0
sounds fake
youre_gayyy 0
BUT WHO WAS ROACH?!
ernaynay 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Zpecial26 0
MMM TASTY SNACK!!1
Mr_Positive 3
lmao ewww :S :S that must suck! well they are not poisonous or something at least, it will be gone out of your system soon !
nocturnal_crazy 1
Ew. I'd be puking all over the floor if I were you.