Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
designedlikedice 0
At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.
Sonalis 9
Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
RockieGirl 0
*scream*
Tehalon 0
Any person on the world eats about 9 spiders a year in their sleep. And thats just spiders, don't forget all other bugs that crawl around in any given house. It's just free proteïne.
hattar 0
Poor u...but hey, atleast u got some protein!
mushroomcloud 0
That is seriously my worse nightmare!!!!!!
Sleepie 0
Actually 41 if you live in an apartment building with dirty neighbors their roach problem becomes your roach problem. So it's not necessarily the OP who "live[s] slovenly."
resawins 0
ick.
fatality2009 0
THAT IS DEFINETELY FMFL!!!
Subtext 10
You'd be surprised if you'd know what you eat while sleeping...bugs, spiders... When I was eight, we had a little locust problem. I was sleeping when my parents were chasing a locust that came in our house. They chased it right into my room, it jumps on my mouth and I eat it while my parents are watching. Just be glad you didn't wake up while it was still alive :)
ilovefmlife 0
lol at #4 I was going to have breakfast. but I've changed my mind.
DeeJayD 0
You eat roaches too? They're yummy.