Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
designedlikedice 0
At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.
Sonalis 9
Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.
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Comments (143)
emmaleelee 0
#21, don't worry. The "eating spiders in your sleep" myth is just that--a myth. :) I was so relieved when I found that out, I have horrible arachnophobia.
cyxx 0
Ahhhhhhhh ewwwwwww!!
mrcarmine 0
LMAO ew first off, is your exterminator peter north? because if he can come and take care of your roach problem, he must be busting some fat nuts. second, i guess there's a connection between the exterminator coming and the roach in your mouth. interesting.
katherinebby17 28
i feel so bad for u but i think i would have thrown up and used mouth wash
losergirl 0
Oh, God! That's nasty! Sue him!
imthejuggernautt 0
Then who was phone?
Emmett_Luver_101 0
22 and 35 OMFG LMFAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ellebell 0
ewww i will continue to be haunted by that story for the rest of the day
5bye7 0
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML that one was featured the other day, you totally recycled it, you suck!!!!!!!!!!!
Nakedsquirrel 5
For you to have a roach problem means you treat your house like a shithole and live slovenly. You'll probably get roaches again. They're not like other infestations that occur simply because the creatures found suitable shelter.
madaoxsan 9
@41 yeah...I dunno if you're a bug expert or just a keyboard jockey but that's not entirely true. I moved into my place during the summer and they simply popped up (from the drains--probably why some people call them "waterbugs"). I cleaned my place every other day, sweeping, kept the bathroom and kitchen clean. It also depends on the place, climate, etc, I believe. I live in phoenix and sometimes I'd go out my door and the bastards would walk in--from outside obviously. I noticed something also, when I had my AC on and it was cool they never popped up, when I didn't have it on I might sight one. Now that it's cold, I don't see them, period. Your little hypothesis is false. btw, I don't believe in insect genocide. not only is it just a horrific idea (I'd rather smack them out into their proper habitat with a broom or remove them by other means) but the pesticides are -not- good for you. I venture to say worse than the allergens/dander the insects themselves have--which isn't much because "roaches" are CONSTANTLY CLEANING THEMSELVES (look it up). Just something to think about. Maybe try natural approaches. I don't think the OP "deserved" it, per se, but after going hitler on tons of creatures, a leg in her mouth is kinda quid pro quo, right?