desperate905
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy
Monday morning blues
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
Top comments
ryanisexy 5
I go to bed half an hour later.
Pentium_4 27
before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (285)
ryankon518 3
One batin a day keeps the bad thoughts away...
derkster 6
Sad
redtigerlily 5
After masturbating I sleep like a baby.
emilysarah 5
My ex boyfriend and I would factor in time to have sex in the mornings and set our alarms accordingly.
dbpowell 2
At least your hand won't give you any diseases!
Calyx_fml 22
Masturbation is not a lesser substitute for sex. It is a valid pleasurable act that has nothing to do with sex or loneliness. Many people who have great lovers and regular sex still **********, and love it. Your only problem is feeling bad about it, like it's shameful or something. It's not. Stop thinking you only wank because you are lonely. You wank because it's fun.
contedefees 11
Whatever. Masturbation is awesome. Even when you are having sex with someone else regularly, masturbation is still awesome.
hateevryone 15
really? is it that crucial?
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
I suggest you get a blow up doll.
CaptainPickles72 18
Why would he get a blow-up doll. There are a lot of cheaper things out there to use. Like; your 2 hands, a pillow, a melon heated up with a hole, the ghost of the sex crazed fiend that killed herself in your apartment a few years ago and hides away till your asleep and rapes you... oh no... I've said to much! O.o what's that noise!? ... I'm scared...
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
Or one of those pocket *******.
zoecw 14
Maybe if you weren't so horny u wouldn't be single