desperate905
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy
Monday morning blues
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
Top comments
ryanisexy 5
I go to bed half an hour later.
Pentium_4 27
before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...
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Comments (285)
jsstone1989 1
30 minutes!?!?!? What are you lighting candles and giving yourself foreplay?
kimmi41509 10
Hey man, whatever makes your day better! In times like this, maybe everyone should so they don't leave their house in the morning with a bug up their ass. Maybe this will inspire some! It should, anyway. People are so miserable these days.
AgaveLoco 5
#68 is wise "People are so miserable these days" Totally agree!!!
kimmi41509 10
It's so true though! I work in customer service and 95% of the people I meet are so miserable that it actually puts me in a bad mood sometimes.
alfred07 18
I'm sure there are websites you can use, both for dating and casual sex.
perdix 31
Hey, you've got to keep the equipment in top shape so when you do find someone, it performs at its best. Consider it genital maintenance, and if you have fun while doing it, well, that's just a bonus ;)
BostonBruinsFan 8
I agree:)
BostonBruinsFan 8
I agree:)
j_ortiz27 7
Forever alone.
immaMonsta 8
You gotta do what you gotta do.
natebart88 0
remindes me of american beauty. "this will be the highlight of my day"
br0ccoli 15
That's exactly what I thought! That scene totally popped in my head! No pun intended
hamtaro331 0
Wow that's just.... Wow
lemonsquid 6
Cum on and get up! xD
islander03 5
Rise and shine!