desperate905
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy
Monday morning blues
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
Top comments
ryanisexy 5
I go to bed half an hour later.
Pentium_4 27
before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...
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Comments (285)
Jonkbaby 23
I'm often late because of this. maybe OP is onto something
loserman67 36
"The best part of waking up, is jacking into a cup." No morning coffee for you huh? Tugging on the old joy stick, making a mess out of the sheets, then going into the bathroom and facing your shame in the mirror. "Oh what a beautiflu morning."
studdmuffin1990 7
I haven't dated anyone for a year and I like it that way. Don't feel bad man Ur just doing what everyone does. They need to make a "single guys" song... But I guess that would be weird huh?
AK_lor 5
Are you a dude or girl?
Keliosan 6
Nothing wrong with that man. Relieves stress and you can always work on your love life.
jjmiddaugh 0
That's just awesome
bakingforlife16 0
Dude...everyone masturbates...it's not just cuz you're single.
Awnonymous 4
Nothing wrong with a bomb ass fap session to wake your ass up.
Breezy4sheezy 2
$50 and two condoms on the right street corner will solve your problems.
HooHooHa 6
I ********** while I am sleep