Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
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Top comments
marulicko 19
Ok, definitely time to get help...
ruckfules85 34
Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.
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Comments (89)
janfleury 19
You need help. You were very lucky that you caught the mistake. Your child's welfare is at stake. Get help!
mattyiscool123 26
You chugged it didn't you?
ronzi 15
There is lots of help available, please pour it generously ?
Q94 5
Damn! Who pours a large glass of scotch...ever????
Lagalette 19
Well the first step is to accept that you have a problem ☑️
militarybrat 21
Think of your daughter and get help, please!!!
militarybrat 21
Blah fml sucks. Dont mind this comment
militarybrat 21
Ran out of time to edit. Also, if you are the only one in care of your daughter it is 1. Extremely irresponsible to be drunk while caring for a child and 2. A reason to call CPS. Do you WANT to lose her?
SPFINATOR1993 10
Just don't let her drink and drive and i'd say you win parenting 101.
Koolaidandtacos 21
Gin and Juice?
ayyy_bro 26
You're disgusting.