Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
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Top comments
marulicko 19
Ok, definitely time to get help...
ruckfules85 34
Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.
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Comments (89)
laden_swallow09 35
The fact that there are so many seemingly innocent euphemisms for liquor: juice, sauce, medicine, etc.
superwhovian 16
At least you recognize you have a problem
forgetaboutitt 5
it's time to get help if not for yourself then for your daughter!
Meerhol 10
And the worst mom of the year award goes to...
thatcoolguy123 14
Wow... just... please get help. Now. Before it's too late
pharm121 21
Your child needs to be taken away from you until you can get yourself help.
liza1922 7
I hope you get the help you need
jazalea8 16
At least you are now aware of it. Now what are you going to do? For those of you saying she should have her child taken away, how many decisions have you made that should make you get yours taken away? Maybe the father is "fit" and is married to her. She is admitting she has a problem and recognizes it. Maybe this is what she needed to fix her problem.
brendejafulable 41
How about going out and spending time with your child.
dcats 13
That's fxxk up dude. Get things straight